|Journey 3 - Shyness leaving| A story of my ‘virtual’ maturity

Leaving my shyness for proactiveness and activeness

What is my definition of shyness?

Shyness (n.): It happens when I do not have enough courage to express my feelings and opinions in some situation such as a discussion.

How did I show my shyness?

I could not control it in the past and just let nature take its course. Back to 2014 when I started my secondary school - the one for Gifted students, it was the time I knew that shyness existed inside me. Instead of talking with new friends, I kept sitting and looking around to see others happily making friends with each other on the first day at school. During each discussion, I seldom gave my opinions though I had a lot of ideas in my mind; therefore, I agreed with all other members’ proposals without making any contribution to the group work.

Every day at school, I was too reserved to meet other students to expand my networking circle. I spent each 10-minute break among subjects completing the homework while my classmates were bonding together or going out to talk with others. I felt like I was isolated myself but I did not know how to become more open-minded.

Four years later, there was a repetition of 2014 when I continued to show my shyness at my high school. Despite holding a thought that I needed to integrate into a new environment, my shyness prevented me from making it come true. While other friends were enjoying Game day which was organized with a view to bringing students closer, I chose to take a rest at my room and wondered why I did not have the courage to join this day.

The most memorable moment of my shyness was when I was given the chance to present a TEDTalk with the audience being my former teacher and classmates. I prepared it by using all my knowledge and enthusiasm to the maximum; however, it was my lack of confidence that made me chuckle and stand for such a long time without speaking anything. I could see how disappointed my audience was and I was as well.

Recently, I unconsciously showed my shyness by keeping silent all the time in every group meeting with CSA-A03 at HAN. Even when other classmates came to me, pushed me to talk something and were eager to listen to my opinions, I did not have the courage to say much and just gave them a big smile to express my agreement. In addition, I did not join either the picnic or dinner bonding and now I wish I had immersed in that atmosphere and regret because I missed it.

How did I overcome my shyness?

Personally, I think that overcoming my shyness is a memorable journey. It is not seen or recognized by others, but by myself.

- Acceptance -

I needed to accept and face up with the truth that I was a shy person instead of ignoring or hiding from it. This was absolutely the foundation for my correction. By this way, I could realize what I should change to reduce and gradually eliminate this characteristic.

- Succession -

“Believe in your flyness…conquer your shyness." ‒ Kanye West.

If overcoming my shyness is compared to going on the road, I would say that I met a lot of helpful people on this road who were willing to support me. My parents always trusted me and boosted my inspiration. My friends always gave me the chance to speak my mind and tried to take me to every party. My teacher always had individual meetings with me to ask whether I was ok or not. I was also fortunate enough to have such a really nice friend named Trang who has been with me since 2014 until now. She was beside me whenever I needed her, gave me necessary and useful advice in order that I would improve and open myself up and when I was deep down in hopelessness, she appeared and made my day.

However, their invaluable advice would become useless if I did not take in and take actions to change myself. I think this is the hardest step in this journey when I spent most of the time thinking about myself and giving myself the opportunity to change. I started to think of the reasons for my shyness, to evaluate them and finally realized what to do exactly.

The moment I won was the time when I changed all the situations I mentioned in “How did I show my shyness?”. After some weeks at secondary school, I had a reputation as an excellent student with being the top in the first exam assessment. Being honored by the headmaster and admired by other students, I felt a bit shy but I took it as a motivation to expand my relationships. I was also confident to give my proposals in every group project as well as spend more time going out and playing with my friends during the break. When it comes to high school, it took me about two months to get over my shyness. I made a decision to apply for an English club in order to be trained professionally and join other exciting activities after feeling regretful not joining the event (Game day). By doing this, I got to know more people, had the chance to collaborate with them in some school events and kept in touch with them until now. Additionally, I tried my best to speak in front of the crowd by practicing as much as possible and imagining a large number of audience standing to listen to me attentively. Last but not least, I am now feeling free to speak whatever I think without any hesitation at every lesson with all the members of CSA-A03.

- Suggestions -

From my perspective, shyness is not a bad characteristic but it needs to be controlled at an acceptable level. Thanks to my shyness, I spent more time thinking and improving myself gradually. Overcoming this hard time, I hope you all be yourself but do not hesitate to express what you are thinking. Be shy if you can, but control your shyness if you want to succeed!